First of all, when people are choosing a spouse, they consider age, appearance, height, education—these kinds of externally visible characteristics. Secondly, they want to get to know the other party's background—for example, the lifestyle for the partner's family of origin, career, earning ability, health condition and common interests. Marriage is the joining of two “whole beings.” Therefore we naturally consider each other's outside appearance and backgrounds initially.

• Personal maturity
  Have you ever seen a 30 year old “child” with a doctorate degree? It's very painful to live with someone who is immature. Do you want to suffer repeated embarrassing situations, or continue to keep treating him like a child? You may suffer a long time with such a difficult person, before you have to admit that you just can't tolerate it any longer.
  
  
• Responsibility
  A mature person acts responsibly. The most basic condition for staying “happily married” is that each partner takes personal responsibility by caring for his own issues in the joint life together. Our lives have a lot of difficulties. A responsible person has courage to face his/her own problems and endurance to bear with his/her spouse's weaknesses.
  
  
• Good Character
  A person with good character has a basic moral concept of “right and wrong.” If someone does not take relationships seriously, uses illegal ways to make money, does not keep his promises, or cheats others, he has a character problem. You don't need to find a saint, but is your partner willing to admit when he or she has done wrong? Can you see evidence they are trying to improve, or are they still stuck in the same old bad habits as last year?
  
  
• Same “world view”
  Religion directly affects our values. Trying to live together intimately but with diverging value systems can only lead to problems and strife. It's very difficult for two people to arrange time and activities, agree on how to spend money, choose friends, and so on without a common “world view.” Belief is at the center of our lives. Without a common belief system it's very hard to stay together on life's journey.

Men: Marriage is more than just finding yourself a sexual partner for life. It is more than just having someone waiting for you, with dinner ready, when you get home from work. It is more than having someone beautiful to go out with you in public. Children will eventually come with marriage. Are you ready for that commitment?

• Ready for family life?
  Some people who are longing to get married may not have a full appreciation for the family life that accompanies it. “Home is the nest of love.” But how can we build a lovely family? You need to know that “the most cherished relationship is a couple's relationship,” and that “marriage is a life long learning process.” No other success can compare with that of having raised confident, capable children.
  
  
• Able to get along with extended family?
  “A wedding is a couple's big event, but marriage is the whole family's business.” Some people think getting married is just between two people but don't consider that they also need to get along with in-laws and other extended family members. It is easy to create family conflict.
  When choosing your partner, try to understand your partner's relationship with his family of origin. One who couldn't get along well in his own family may bring the same old problems into his marriage. One who escapes from her family may take a similar attitude of avoidance when faced with difficulties in her marriage.
  
  
• Ready to learn how to become a good parent?
  Generally speaking, raising children is an important purpose of marriage. It is a couple's blessing and responsibility. So, I always ask people who are thinking of getting married, “Do you really want him to become your child's parent?” Before you step on the red carpet, you need to believe that your partner will not only be a good lover, but also that she will be a good parent.
  
  
• Ready to be a good partner?
  During courtship, we often focus on whether our partner is a good lover or not. In fact, over the many years of married life, it is just as important to be a good friend. “It's easy to love each other, but difficult to be the company, and more difficult to get along with each other.” Some people may find it easy to be lovers before they get married, but discover it's not as easy to stay life-long partners. To maintain a satisfied marriage not only requires passion, but also a desire to maintain a life long friendship.